Funny Laws
Massachusetts Funny Laws
-It is illegal to give beer to hospital patients.
-Candy may not contain more than 1% of alcohol.
-It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.
-Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine. 
-Christmas was once outlawed in Massachusetts.
-It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost.
-Shooting ranges may not set up targets that resemble human beings.
-It is unlawful to deliver diapers on Sunday
-At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
-Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.
-It's illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a public road. 
-Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
-An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the 
privilege of wearing one in public.
-Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their 
shifts.
-You may not, at any time take a crap on your neighbor.
-Fowl, particularly roosters, are prohibited from going into bakeries.
-All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
-Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
-Gorilla's are not allowed in the back seat of any car.
-It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
-A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
-No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
-Tattooing and body piercing is illegal.
-Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
-Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
-Quakers and witches are banned.
-Bullets may not be used as currency.
-Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, 
Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders.
-Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.
-Public boxing matches are outlawed.

Massachusetts City Laws

Boston:
-It is illegal to play the fiddle.
-It is illegal to shoot a bow and arrow in the street.
-It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines. 
-Two people may not kiss in front of a church.
-It is unlawful to injure a football goal post.
-It's against the law to keep manure in a building unless the building is being used as a stable. 
If it is, you can keep up to two cords of manure. If you're overstocked, you need a permit to 
move the stuff. And you can't leave it in the street.
-No more than two baths may be taken within the confines of the city.
-No one may cross the Boston Common without carrying a shotgun in case of bears.
-It's illegal to post an advertisement on a public urinal. 
-It is illegal to take a bath unless instructed to do so by a physician.
-It's against the law to hang a vending machine on a utility pole. 
-Anyone may let their sheep and cows graze in the public gardens/commons at any time except 
Sundays.
-It is illegal to eat peanuts in church.
-It's illegal to cut firewood in the street.
-It's illegal to rummage through rubbish containers. 
-An old law prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday.
-Duels to the death permitted on the common on Sundays provided that the Governor is present.
-Women may not wear heels over 3 inches in length while on the common.
-No one may take a bath without a prescription.
-It is illegal for any citizen to own more than three dogs.
Burlington:
-You may not walk around with a "drink".
Cambridge:
-It costs $50 extra for a permit for hurling, soccer or Gaelic football games in a public park on 
a Sunday.
Hingham:
-You may not have colored lights on your house if it can be seen from Main Street.
-If you live on Main Street and want to paint your house, the colors must be approved by the 
historical society.
Holyoke:
-It is unlawful to water your lawn when it is raining. 
Hopkinton:
-Though horses and cows are allowed on the common, dogs are prohibited.
Longmeadow:
-It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.
Marblehead:
-It was illegal to cross the street on Sunday, unless absolutely necessary. 
Marlboro:
-It is illegal to buy, sell or possess a squirt gun.
-Silly string is illegal in the city limits.
-One may not detonate a nuclear device in the city.
-It is illegal for any citizen to own more than two dogs.
Milford:
-Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
Nahant:
-Sleds may not be coasted down streets.
-It is illegal to excavate any city street.
Newton:
-All families must be given a hog from the mayor.
North Andover:
-An ordinance prohibits the use of space guns.
Provincetown:
-It's illegal to sell suntan oil until after noon on Sunday. 
Salem:
-Sleeping in the nude in a rented room is forbidden, even for married couples.
Southbridge:
-It's illegal to read books or newspapers after 8 p.m. in the streets.
Westport:
-Dogs are strictly forbidden from riding in ambulances.
Woburn:
-In bars, it is actually illegal to "walk around" with a beer in your hand.
 
Enjoy Massachusetts's Fun Laws
 
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