Funny Laws
Illinois Funny Laws

-You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
-You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.
-The English language is not to be spoken.
-All bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
-It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
-The official language of Illinois is "American".
-It is illegal for barbers to use their fingers to apply shaving cream to a customer's face.
-You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation.

Illinois City Laws

-No one may stand on the sidewalk on the 500 block of Illinois Ave.
-One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.
-It's illegal to serve liquor to the feeble-minded.
-All businesses entering into contracts with the city must sift through their records and report any business they had dealing with slaves during the era of slavery.
-It is illegal to take a French poodle to the opera.
-Women over 200 pounds (90 kilos) to ride horses in shorts.
-Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
-It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
-People who are diseased, maimed, mutilated, or "otherwise an unsightly or disgusting object" are banned from going out in public.
-It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a deer's antlers.
-Kites may not be flown within the city limits.
-In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb.
-It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
-Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.
-It is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one's dog.
-Cars may not be driven through the town.
Crystal Lake:
-If one wishes to plant new sod in his or her yard in the summer months, that person may not use the city's water to water it.
Des Plaines:
-Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.
-A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.
-Bowling is forbidden.
-It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
-It is unlawful for "negroes" to be within county boundries from sundown to sunrise.
-It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.
-No person may keep a smelly dog.
-It is illegal to burn bird feathers.
-Jostling others is illegal.
-No bicyclist may practice "fancy riding" on any city street.
-There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.
Glen Carbon:
-You need a permit to use a athletic field with lights.
-It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer.
-Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced 'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine.
-A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow.
-Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kirkland's streets.
-You cannot "throw, drop or place" a used hankie "upon any public way or public place or upon the floor of any convenience or upon the floor of any theater, hall or assembly or public building or upon the surface or any lot or parcel of ground or on the roof on any building or in any light or air shaft, court or areaway."
-It's illegal to take your clothes off and "expose the naked."
-Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited.
-There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.
Morton Grove:
-You may not own a handgun.
-It is against the law to make faces at dogs.
-It's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
Orland Park:
-No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling.
-Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.
Park Ridge:
-Trucks may only park inside closed garages.
-Basketball hoops may not be instaled on a driveway.
-City council doesn't have a quorum
-"Dwarf-tossing," is outlawed in bars.
-It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana.
-It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.
Enjoy Illinois's Fun Laws
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